Why you need to change the story you're telling

You'll never make it as an artist.

Those words jolted me from my daydream like a slap in the face.  

I was sitting in a small office at the back of the college art room in the middle of a tutorial.  It was stuffy and crammed with files and boxes and art materials.  Outside the window I could see trees and leaves moving in the wind, and there was the hum of distant traffic on the street below.  Outside, life went on as normal and my art tutor continued to talk, shuffling some papers and taking sips of her coffee.  

She didn't know she had just dropped a bombshell which had blown my dreams apart.

I sat frozen to my chair, feeling small and vulnerable, fighting the tears that threatened to spill, along with the sudden rush of panic, fear and embarrassment that enveloped me.  The tutorial ended, and she turned away to write some notes.  I didn't know what to do or think, I probably smiled politely and mumbled thank you - thank you for what? For pulling the rug out from underneath me? For destroying my self confidence?  For shattering my dreams?

I was eighteen years old, and those words created something that became my story for the next few years.  I no longer believed in myself and my abilities.  In those days, we were raised to respect our elders and believe what they told us - why wouldn't we? They were experts in their fields, it wasn't like it is today.  I never thought to challenge her and shout "You're wrong!" - I never thought to follow my calling despite what she had said, because I'd been told by someone in authority, an art lecturer, that I was no good.  Her words held weight, and I believed them.

And over time, I let those words shape me.  I let my paints gather dust, my sketch books lay untouched and slowly, insidiously, the rot seeped in and I stopped being an artist.  I turned my back on it all.  Her opinion became the only voice I heard, it crowded out my fragile sense of self belief, it crushed my hope.  It was a long time before I found the courage to paint again, and when I did it was the sweetest moment.  It was like coming home.  In the years that followed my life has been full of creativity, and I look back with sadness and tenderness at that young eighteen year old girl, who didn't have the confidence to listen to her own voice.

What are you not doing, or putting off because you don't believe you can do it?

Who, or what was it that stood in your way?

What happened in your life that stops you doing what you love now?  What story are you telling yourself that prevents you taking the next step? 

Unless it's completely life threatening or dangerous, then why are you still believing that you can't?

It's time to ask yourself if the story you believe is even still true.  For me, the feeling of not being good enough was numbing, but eventually the nudge to make art became too great to ignore.  I started tentatively painting again at home, then I did an evening class in Interior Design before going to University where I had superb art tutors who really encouraged me.  My self belief soared.  The trick is to take small steps - don't imagine that your first piece of work has to be gallery worthy, just make a date to get some colour onto paper, buy a beautiful skein of yarn, or make a mood board of things that inspire you.  Each step you take is a step in the right direction, you're changing your story every time you choose to say yes to what lights you up.

It doesn't matter what level of ability you are at either, deep down we all have a seam of creativity, a spark that comes alive when we tend to it.  I want you to think about what you enjoy or love, and what makes you feel excited and alive.  Now go and do it.  

One small step.

There are millions of ways to express ourselves, but believing we can't isn't one of them.  It's time to re-write your story and start again.

The Winner Is....

It's time to find out who the lucky winner of my £25.00 Gift Voucher Giveaway is!

I used a Random Number Generator to fairly choose a winner...

And the winner is: VICTORIA BECKLEY!

Victoria, if you would like to get in touch with your details, I'll get your voucher sent out to you!  Just click here to use my online contact form.  Well done!

And a massive thank you to everyone who took part and suggested so many amazing places for me to paint - I'm very inspired by your suggestions and will definitely be taking you up on some of those locations in the coming months!

PS :: Just to clarify, I noticed that some entries duplicated themselves, and I've obviously not included these in the draw figures.

WIN a Gift Voucher to spend in my online store!

**DRAW NOW CLOSED**

Today's blog post is all about my GIVEAWAY!

To thank you for reading my blog, and for supporting me through social media with your encouragement and for your custom, I thought I would offer one lucky soul a gift voucher to spend in my online store worth £25.00! 

You can use the voucher towards anything you like in my shop, from cards and prints, to mugs and originals!  I've also just listed a selection of limited edition prints that I'm retiring, and they're now in my Sale section - you could take advantage and treat yourself to a fabulous limited edition print for a super reduced price!

To Enter...

All you need to do is to leave me a comment below this post, telling me what theme or place you'd like to see me paint, and your name will be entered into the draw next Monday (30/04/18).

Please feel free to share this post with your friends or family, wishing you lots of luck and thanks for taking part!  Don't forget to check back next Monday to see who's won!

What to do when you stop loving your art

Falling out of love with my work has happened a few times over the years.  It's nothing very dramatic, it's a feeling that almost seems to creep up on me and take me unawares until one day, the realisation dawns.  Something about my paintings just no longer seem to make me feel that spark anymore.  They don't create the same excitement, or joy.  And from experience, instead of feeling afraid of this I now know that it's time to scale up, and move my painting on to the next level.

It's so easy as an artist to keep on creating lots of work in a similar vein, and yet, like all things in the world we need to allow ourselves space to expand and grow.  If we don't, if we stay cosy in our little boxes and keep doing the same thing, it's only natural that the spark will be extinguished, and eventually, the love for what you do will disappear.

So what do we do when this happens?

We do things differently.  This can feel weird, or nerve wracking, because change is scary, right?

It can be, yes.  But it can also be an exciting time to explore new territory, to liven things up a bit, to experiment and play.

This is the most important step of moving into your next growth phase as an artist.  It's really easy to become stuck in a rut, creating what people expect, or what you are used to, and then becoming depressed about your work without really understanding why.  Although it's a good thing to be able to create work that sells to your customers, your art also has to excite you, it has to tell a story and shine with the spirit and passion that it was created with.  If it doesn't feel right to you, it isn't going to feel right to others either.  

Starting with a playful attitude takes the process back to the beginning, it allows you to express yourself and try new things with new materials, and perhaps as I found with those beautiful, fluid watercolours, you might just find yourself getting excited about a whole new medium!  It was this that led me to understand that what I really loved was the movement in the paint, the fluid lines, the more abstract shapes that I used as overlays.  In contrast, my acrylic work had become tight and constricted, bursting at the seams with lots of detail...stepping back and looking at it with fresh eyes, I could sense that it felt too claustrophobic.

So, over the Easter holidays I had a good think about what I could do to reignite the passion into my acrylic paintings.  I very much love acrylics as a medium and couldn't imagine giving them up.  So how do I move forward?  How do I let it evolve, and reignite the passion?  

Take some time to think about what you like in other paintings.  What do you notice when you look at other people's work? What catches your eye?  Is it colour? Composition? Brush strokes? Detail, or lack of detail?  Ask yourself questions as you explore, take time to tune into how things make you feel - flat, dull, bored....or alive, vibrant, excited?

  

It could be just a case of looking back at your own older work, and seeing if there's anything in those pieces that catch your eye.  You may experience positive or negative emotions.  

You can use all these observations as a tool for moving on to the next phase of your art journey.

I had a good look at my recent work, and earlier pieces too, and learned from them that I needed to loosen up, to soften and let the brush be my guide.  Instead of trying to force the painting to look a particular way, to let the painting take it's own shape.  I am now trying out bigger brushes, I noticed too that of late beyond the background stage I was working predominantly in size 1 and 0 brushes!! These obviously lend to smaller strokes and detailed work, which is why some of my work was feeling too busy!  

'Hello Spring' - new acrylic on canvas

I finished this piece just yesterday, it's an acrylic on canvas.  From what I had learnt earlier, I worked with various sizes of brush, and I allowed the process to flow.  I was led almost intuitively to the colours and shapes that formed in this painting and what a difference it made to the feel of the process, and the final outcome!  This painting for me has so much vibrance and energy!

It actually felt it was a very different experience working on this, and I really enjoyed the looser style that I allowed myself to work with.  What do you think?

I'm now starting a bigger piece, a coastal painting in acrylics on a 50cm square canvas.  It feels like a new beginning starting a painting with a fresh approach, and I'll look forward to sharing more of this process with you soon.

The Emotional Side of Creative Business :: Things I've Learnt

It was the summer of 2006 when I made the decision to wind down my work as a freelance sign writer, and spend more time on my art.  It had long been a dream of mine to work as an artist and taking the plunge was an exciting and scary moment.  Looking back now, I can see just how naive and uneducated I was on the whole business side of things though.  Yes, I could paint and draw, it was my passion (it still is) but I was an utter novice in those early days when it came to the deeper aspects of earning money and keeping a creative business rolling along.

There's also the emotional side of running a business that I knew nothing about, it's not just about making pictures and selling them - believe me, when you set up a business you literally invest not only your money, but your heart and soul into it.

So today, I'm sharing a few things that have helped me grow my business over the years, and how to navigate the soulful side of working for yourself - the emotional side is a really big part of it and I was completely unprepared for the solitude/loneliness element of working as an artist from home.  I had come from working as a sign writer, where I travelled up and down the country working with lots of people for several weeks at a time on contracts.  It was hard work and a very transient existence in some respects as we were always on the road, but there was always company and familiar faces so you never felt isolated.

One thing I've discovered over the years is that it is super important to keep yourself connected with other people if you work by yourself.  I have days where the solitude is blissful, and truly enjoy my own company - other times, I suffer from cabin fever and feel desperately lonely and isolated.

Making plans to meet friends for coffee, or spending quality time with family is absolutely essential when you're a solopreneur.  I've also learnt that if I recognise those negative feelings creeping in, a phone call to my sister or partner, or a natter online with a couple of good friends can help to shift that, and I feel more connected again.  If nobody is about and I feel this way, I'll go for a walk for half an hour or so, just to clear my head.  And sometimes I go to a coffee shop with a notebook and pen, and enjoy the buzz of being around others while dreaming up new ideas, or emptying my brain of all the fog.

You have to be disciplined and this isn't always easy if you feel tired, you've got the kids off school or the house needs a tidy.  There's no boss to tell you what to do, as that would be you - yep, you're the boss, sounds cool doesn't it?  But it comes with responsibilities - you have to take charge and do things, you're only answerable to yourself after all, and if you don't do it, it won't get done.  For me, discipline is the thing that keeps my ship afloat, if I don't show up and do what needs to be done each day, my business flails.

You're also going to have times that feel scary and out of your depth - this is usually indicative of a time to grow and expand, yet moving into change can feel really frightening when we've been used to doing things a certain way.  Habit is comfortable and safe right?  But in order to grow as a person and as a biz, you need to find the confidence to step up and say "I can do this!"

I've got myself an emotional support kit that I've created over the years which helps me to feel better equipped when life chucks things at me like this.  Yoga and meditation are a huge help (and I try and do this every day).  Cultivating a daily self care practice has become essential, for years I have unconsciously put myself last (as I feel many women naturally do) and focused on my family, but I've learnt that time looking after me actually gives me more energy to navigate all the ups and downs in life. 
Walking, exercise and journaling are good tools to clear the mind, there's nothing like an hour in the woods on a brisk walk, or ten minutes thrashing everything out on paper to clear the head.

And if, after all this, there is still a feeling of being scared or stuck?

Ask for help, or learn how to do what it is you need to do to get to where you need to be. 

It's no use pretending you know what you're doing if you don't, you're just going to wind up going around in circles getting nowhere if you do that - so don't be too proud to say, you know what? I don't know how to do this, I need some help.  There are a gazillion websites, mentors, books and resources that you can utilise now, you just need to find someone who you click with and whose teaching resonates with you.
I am learning new things every day, and that helps me to enrich my life and grow my business too.  It's a win-win.  We're never too old to learn something new, and the beauty of the internet is that there is so much information at our fingertips, you couldn't pick a better time to start a business with all the incredible resources that are now available.

Here are a few really good websites that have, and continue to help me and business thrive:

The Girls Mean Business

The Creative Business Network

Dare to Grow

The other side of the coin to all of this of course, are the good feelings: the excitement of creating your art, the delight of making your first sale, getting a painting accepted into an exhibition, of earning money from doing what you love.  It can feel euphoric and wild and utterly wonderful and the best bit about it is, is that you engineered that yourself.  You did it. 

Nobody else.

Satisfaction from creating a product, marketing it, and finding customers who love what you do and who buy from you is something that still feels amazing to me now, after working for myself for 18 years.  It spurs me on, my self belief blossoms and it gives me the confidence to continue. 
Every achievement, no matter how big or small is all down to things you learnt and implemented.  When you overcome the tough parts and realise a dream, hit the jackpot, make the sale, meet the goal - that was you.  Give yourself a high five for that, give yourself a high five anyway, just for showing up and deciding to make a go of it each day.  That takes courage, willpower and dedication.  It's a rollercoaster ride working for yourself, but my goodness, it's worth every minute.