What to do when your painting fails

Painting is such an emotional process, and although the euphoria of finishing a good piece is one of the best feelings in the world, there are times when the opposite happens too.  When our paintings go wrong it can bring up all kinds of feelings from frustration to anger, and even on occasions going as far as knocking our self confidence.  We can sometimes find ourselves assailed by those awful inner voices too, telling us 'you're not good enough' 'this is awful' and that sort of nonsense.  We are, by default, our own worst critics and quick to reproach ourselves when things don't turn out right.  We can also feel a sense of disappointment or despair and one of our first instincts is to throw the lot out or tear it to shreds.

But wait...

There is sometimes a way back from these 'Lost Paintings' which I'll share with you now as I've recently had the very experience I'm writing about.

Last week, deeply inspired and excited by the sudden swathes of bluebells in our nearby woods, I felt the call to start a new painting.  I got quickly to work laying down the base coats, building up that tantalising indigo amid the fresh lime greens.  My idea was to create a piece with a winding path through the flowers, leading out onto a sunny meadow beyond.  And so far, so good.

And then I went back to it and added in the trees.  And whilst I was painting the trees, I felt a sense of dissatisfaction creeping in.  I added a few more leaves and stepped back, eventually acknowledging that I wasn't happy with it.

So what happens next?

I've found to my detriment that throwing a painting away or tearing it in half in a fit of remorse is the worst thing we can do.  Later on we might come to regret that decision as sometimes there is a solution to be found, but of course by then it's too late.  

The first step is tuning in to the feeling that something isn't working out or doesn't feel right. 

A cup of tea at this point and a ten minute break can be useful to assess what the problem might be and whether or not there is a way to put it right.  If you know right off what's gone wrong then you can try and steer it back on track.  

If you're struggling to figure it out and you hate the entire thing at this point, the next step is to simply give it time and stop.

As frustrating as it is to walk away and leave a painting in limbo, the sensible thing to do is to turn the fellow towards the wall and ignore it for a while.  Every now and then you can check in on it, see if you're ready to give it another go. 

My Bluebells are now sitting with a half finished Blackpool Sands painting at the back of the studio, and truthfully, I've no idea at the moment whether or not they will ever get finished.  Sometimes with the passing of time apathy sets in, and in this case it's often best to simply accept it wasn't meant to be and paint it over or throw it away.

You might be thinking that hours of your life have been needlessly wasted on a piece of work that was only fit for the bin - but no!  I think each painting I create brings it's own lesson.  The ones that are successful help me to identify what worked and why.  I can take this information forward and use it in future work.  In the same way we can apply this critique to the ones that fail.  We can ask what went wrong, and why - was it the colours? The composition? The subject matter?  

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Back to the Bluebells...a couple of weeks later, I am feeling that my composition was wrong in parts, and I was working too tightly again.  Of late, I've begun working in a much looser style which I am really enjoying, and now I can see that for some reason, I had reverted to working in my old manner. 

I know now that it will be one of those panels that gets painted over, or thrown away.  And that's OK.  Bluebells was a lesson in letting go of ways of working that no longer bring joy.  It felt restrictive and dull and that was never going to come across well as a finished piece.  I strongly believe that paintings are infused with a sort of energy - you'll know exactly what I mean - it's when you see a piece of work that seems to shimmer with a special magic, it draws you in and you intuitively know that the artist absolutely loved creating it, and invested their heart and soul into painting it.  In the same way you will also be able to 'feel' when a painting is missing that magical ingredient, it will be dull and lacklustre, it won't affect you in the same way.

So, don't be afraid to make mistakes in your work.  Use them as lessons to grow your creative tool kit, to learn what works and what doesn't.  Practice tuning into your emotions as you work - do you feel good? Exuberant? Excited?  Or are you feeling a bit distracted? Flat? Bored?  

Learning to tune into your feelings will become second nature in time, and will save you hours of fretting over your failing artwork as you come to understand that these lessons are all just part of the process.

Why you need to change the story you're telling

You'll never make it as an artist.

Those words jolted me from my daydream like a slap in the face.  

I was sitting in a small office at the back of the college art room in the middle of a tutorial.  It was stuffy and crammed with files and boxes and art materials.  Outside the window I could see trees and leaves moving in the wind, and there was the hum of distant traffic on the street below.  Outside, life went on as normal and my art tutor continued to talk, shuffling some papers and taking sips of her coffee.  

She didn't know she had just dropped a bombshell which had blown my dreams apart.

I sat frozen to my chair, feeling small and vulnerable, fighting the tears that threatened to spill, along with the sudden rush of panic, fear and embarrassment that enveloped me.  The tutorial ended, and she turned away to write some notes.  I didn't know what to do or think, I probably smiled politely and mumbled thank you - thank you for what? For pulling the rug out from underneath me? For destroying my self confidence?  For shattering my dreams?

I was eighteen years old, and those words created something that became my story for the next few years.  I no longer believed in myself and my abilities.  In those days, we were raised to respect our elders and believe what they told us - why wouldn't we? They were experts in their fields, it wasn't like it is today.  I never thought to challenge her and shout "You're wrong!" - I never thought to follow my calling despite what she had said, because I'd been told by someone in authority, an art lecturer, that I was no good.  Her words held weight, and I believed them.

And over time, I let those words shape me.  I let my paints gather dust, my sketch books lay untouched and slowly, insidiously, the rot seeped in and I stopped being an artist.  I turned my back on it all.  Her opinion became the only voice I heard, it crowded out my fragile sense of self belief, it crushed my hope.  It was a long time before I found the courage to paint again, and when I did it was the sweetest moment.  It was like coming home.  In the years that followed my life has been full of creativity, and I look back with sadness and tenderness at that young eighteen year old girl, who didn't have the confidence to listen to her own voice.

What are you not doing, or putting off because you don't believe you can do it?

Who, or what was it that stood in your way?

What happened in your life that stops you doing what you love now?  What story are you telling yourself that prevents you taking the next step? 

Unless it's completely life threatening or dangerous, then why are you still believing that you can't?

It's time to ask yourself if the story you believe is even still true.  For me, the feeling of not being good enough was numbing, but eventually the nudge to make art became too great to ignore.  I started tentatively painting again at home, then I did an evening class in Interior Design before going to University where I had superb art tutors who really encouraged me.  My self belief soared.  The trick is to take small steps - don't imagine that your first piece of work has to be gallery worthy, just make a date to get some colour onto paper, buy a beautiful skein of yarn, or make a mood board of things that inspire you.  Each step you take is a step in the right direction, you're changing your story every time you choose to say yes to what lights you up.

It doesn't matter what level of ability you are at either, deep down we all have a seam of creativity, a spark that comes alive when we tend to it.  I want you to think about what you enjoy or love, and what makes you feel excited and alive.  Now go and do it.  

One small step.

There are millions of ways to express ourselves, but believing we can't isn't one of them.  It's time to re-write your story and start again.

The Winner Is....

It's time to find out who the lucky winner of my £25.00 Gift Voucher Giveaway is!

I used a Random Number Generator to fairly choose a winner...

And the winner is: VICTORIA BECKLEY!

Victoria, if you would like to get in touch with your details, I'll get your voucher sent out to you!  Just click here to use my online contact form.  Well done!

And a massive thank you to everyone who took part and suggested so many amazing places for me to paint - I'm very inspired by your suggestions and will definitely be taking you up on some of those locations in the coming months!

PS :: Just to clarify, I noticed that some entries duplicated themselves, and I've obviously not included these in the draw figures.

WIN a Gift Voucher to spend in my online store!

**DRAW NOW CLOSED**

Today's blog post is all about my GIVEAWAY!

To thank you for reading my blog, and for supporting me through social media with your encouragement and for your custom, I thought I would offer one lucky soul a gift voucher to spend in my online store worth £25.00! 

You can use the voucher towards anything you like in my shop, from cards and prints, to mugs and originals!  I've also just listed a selection of limited edition prints that I'm retiring, and they're now in my Sale section - you could take advantage and treat yourself to a fabulous limited edition print for a super reduced price!

To Enter...

All you need to do is to leave me a comment below this post, telling me what theme or place you'd like to see me paint, and your name will be entered into the draw next Monday (30/04/18).

Please feel free to share this post with your friends or family, wishing you lots of luck and thanks for taking part!  Don't forget to check back next Monday to see who's won!

What to do when you stop loving your art

Falling out of love with my work has happened a few times over the years.  It's nothing very dramatic, it's a feeling that almost seems to creep up on me and take me unawares until one day, the realisation dawns.  Something about my paintings just no longer seem to make me feel that spark anymore.  They don't create the same excitement, or joy.  And from experience, instead of feeling afraid of this I now know that it's time to scale up, and move my painting on to the next level.

It's so easy as an artist to keep on creating lots of work in a similar vein, and yet, like all things in the world we need to allow ourselves space to expand and grow.  If we don't, if we stay cosy in our little boxes and keep doing the same thing, it's only natural that the spark will be extinguished, and eventually, the love for what you do will disappear.

So what do we do when this happens?

We do things differently.  This can feel weird, or nerve wracking, because change is scary, right?

It can be, yes.  But it can also be an exciting time to explore new territory, to liven things up a bit, to experiment and play.

This is the most important step of moving into your next growth phase as an artist.  It's really easy to become stuck in a rut, creating what people expect, or what you are used to, and then becoming depressed about your work without really understanding why.  Although it's a good thing to be able to create work that sells to your customers, your art also has to excite you, it has to tell a story and shine with the spirit and passion that it was created with.  If it doesn't feel right to you, it isn't going to feel right to others either.  

Starting with a playful attitude takes the process back to the beginning, it allows you to express yourself and try new things with new materials, and perhaps as I found with those beautiful, fluid watercolours, you might just find yourself getting excited about a whole new medium!  It was this that led me to understand that what I really loved was the movement in the paint, the fluid lines, the more abstract shapes that I used as overlays.  In contrast, my acrylic work had become tight and constricted, bursting at the seams with lots of detail...stepping back and looking at it with fresh eyes, I could sense that it felt too claustrophobic.

So, over the Easter holidays I had a good think about what I could do to reignite the passion into my acrylic paintings.  I very much love acrylics as a medium and couldn't imagine giving them up.  So how do I move forward?  How do I let it evolve, and reignite the passion?  

Take some time to think about what you like in other paintings.  What do you notice when you look at other people's work? What catches your eye?  Is it colour? Composition? Brush strokes? Detail, or lack of detail?  Ask yourself questions as you explore, take time to tune into how things make you feel - flat, dull, bored....or alive, vibrant, excited?

  

It could be just a case of looking back at your own older work, and seeing if there's anything in those pieces that catch your eye.  You may experience positive or negative emotions.  

You can use all these observations as a tool for moving on to the next phase of your art journey.

I had a good look at my recent work, and earlier pieces too, and learned from them that I needed to loosen up, to soften and let the brush be my guide.  Instead of trying to force the painting to look a particular way, to let the painting take it's own shape.  I am now trying out bigger brushes, I noticed too that of late beyond the background stage I was working predominantly in size 1 and 0 brushes!! These obviously lend to smaller strokes and detailed work, which is why some of my work was feeling too busy!  

'Hello Spring' - new acrylic on canvas

I finished this piece just yesterday, it's an acrylic on canvas.  From what I had learnt earlier, I worked with various sizes of brush, and I allowed the process to flow.  I was led almost intuitively to the colours and shapes that formed in this painting and what a difference it made to the feel of the process, and the final outcome!  This painting for me has so much vibrance and energy!

It actually felt it was a very different experience working on this, and I really enjoyed the looser style that I allowed myself to work with.  What do you think?

I'm now starting a bigger piece, a coastal painting in acrylics on a 50cm square canvas.  It feels like a new beginning starting a painting with a fresh approach, and I'll look forward to sharing more of this process with you soon.